Thursday, December 5, 2013

Love, Actually...Infatuation

**This is not intended to be a full post, it's just a forum I'm using to share something I wrote somewhere else**

The movie is cute, but it just doesn't add up for me. It was very...superficial. I'll ignore all the super-convenient and horribly unbelievable movie situations and just focus on the story. I'll explain below.

The Kiera Knightly storyline:
At first glance: The dude is in love with this woman for a long time and uses the magic of Christmas to express his love with a boombox and giant flashcards. Cute.
When you think about it for more than a minute: The dude is obsessed with his best friend's girl. He never talks to her (according to her), and instead of doing the right thing and forgetting about it he continues to obsess. He's asked to videotape the wedding and instead of being a good friend and taping the wedding, he creates a tape full of spank material since he can't get over his own infatuation. I mean, I know she's hot, but give it up. What's even worse is that instead of moving on, he puts her in a horrible position by confessing his love AFTER they're married and, worse, during a family holiday. You say cute, I say douche. (And to make matters worse, instead of setting him straight and asking that he not fuck up her life, she kisses him and all but guarantees a lifetime of incessant pining and awkward situations.)

The Hugh Grant storyline:
At first glance: The guy meets a woman in the office and has to overcome office politics to make things happen. He tries to avoid it, but eventually he realizes he should go for it and goes searching town for her (since love waits for nothing). Cute.
When you think about it for more than a minute: The guy is single and in a position of power. He meets the office hottie, is turned on by her nervousness around him, and wants to bang her. When he sees another man of power hitting on her, he flips a shit and starts messing with foreign policy - that's more ape-like than it is cutesy love.

The Colin Firth storyline:

At first glance: A guy gets cheated on, moves to France to write a book, meets a beautiful woman that doesn't speak his language, learns the language, travels to her home country to save her from a shitty father and a shitty job. Cute.
When you think about it for more than a minute: The guy was just cheated on and meets a beautiful woman. He wants to bang her but can't communicate with her. He's alone and he's an author, so he learns Portuguese with the plethora of free time he has. Could they live happily every after? Absolutely - but I don't like how this is supposed to be an example of love.

The little bratty kid storyline:At first glance: A cute little kid with a dead mother is in love with a girl in his class. She doesn't know he exists, so he goes on to learn drumming (and possibly gymnastics) to impress her. His dedication and bravery are adorable. Cute.
When you think about it for more than a minute: He's a fucking child. His stepdad thinks that the best way to help him cope with the loss of his mother is to encourage him to devote his life to impressing a girl. I fully support the whole "you should tell her how you feel" approach, but this was a bit much. Forgetting the whole "break the law and ignore security rules" bit, he's sending the message to the kid that "every time you think you love someone you should do insane things," not the best lesson. Besides, what the hell does this kid know about love?

The Alan Rickman storyline:At first glance: A middle-aged man gets involved with a young secretary, while his wife tries to hold the family together. The husband is a douche, the wife is a saint.
When you think about it for more than a minute: This may actually be the most honest and realistic part of the movie and probably should have had a more prominent role.

Overall:The message in this movie seems to be that if you're young and cute, you're going to do just fine. However, if you're old and have a family, you're probably screwed. Emma Thompson, a middle-aged housewife, is losing her husband to a young office hottie, and Laura Linney, a middle-aged worker, can't act on her long-time crush because she has a sick brother. The characters in this movie, for the most part, were willing to completely change their lives for a sense of infatuation that they mistook for love. The final scene with people hugging each other in the airport actually does more to confuse the theme than it does to provide a cute wrap-up to the "love epic" I think they were going for.

1/5 stars.

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